Learning to Trust
I have been blessed with the gift of feeling what others feel. I’m not able to do this all the time, but often, when I choose. I like to describe it as soul communicating with soul. The following experience was indeed a blessing because when I tuned into another soul I was able to change a life.
My husband and I had made the decision to have another child. This would be our eighth, and our last child. When I found I was pregnant, I was really excited. I knew this was the little girl I was supposed to have. But soon I started to experience feelings of fear. It seemed that I was fighting with this little soul inside to stay with me. I could sense her soul was there from the fourth or fifth week of pregnancy. As I tuned in with her feelings, I could tell she was very frightened to be in that little body that was growing inside of me. I was determined to be very careful to not stress my body because I did not want to miscarry this baby. But I felt this baby was very afraid to come.
At about the tenth week of pregnancy, my husband and I made arrangements to meet with a friend of ours who does counseling with people. She had been experiencing a lot of success helping people with a reprogramming tool to change negative feelings to positive ones. As I talked to her, I told her some of the feelings I was having of terror, fear, anger, and feelings of worthlessness. These feelings surprised me because I thought I had reprogrammed myself to rid myself of any of these feelings.
As we worked, she tested me with kinesiology to see if these were my feelings. But we found that these were the feelings of the little girl in my womb. I was feeling all her feelings with her. With my counselor friend’s help, we started using the reprogramming tools to handle these feelings, with me working in proxy for my unborn daughter.
During this session we learned that this little soul had been in another body that had been aborted. She was experiencing again the fears, rejection, sadness, and feelings of being not loved or wanted. She was feeling that she was nothing; and that she might possibly be destroyed again. Working in proxy for my baby was very emotionally and physically draining–feeling as she felt, shedding her tears, letting go of her anger, relieving her stress and hurt. All the reprogramming that took place was a lot of work.
The next morning I woke up feeling such relief! Many burdens had been taken from me. I could feel my baby was resting, although there was still an unwillingness to trust. So over the next several weeks, I continued on my own, using the tools to work through all the negative feelings for my baby.
I was still struggling with morning sickness even though it was now past the time when morning sickness had left me with my previous pregnancies. One morning I was feeling very annoyed that I was still so nauseated, and the idea came to me to rid myself of any possible emotional reasons for the upset stomach. I still could not get any relief. I tried to go deeper within my own soul to sort out what possible feelings I might have inside that could be causing my morning sickness.
In consulting my counselor friend’s book, I discovered that nausea can be caused by “seeing something that one does not want to see or seeing something that makes one sick.” At that moment, I realized I was experiencing the feelings of my baby again. So I put myself in proxy for my baby again and started to use the reprogramming tools.
Into my mind came the picture of a hospital room and people in white. I saw a woman lying on a table and the people were performing an abortion. In my mind I watched what my baby had watched as her soul left her little body at the time it was being destroyed. Then the scene left my mind. It was overwhelming! The grief I felt for my baby was indescribable. But in using the reprogramming tools I was able to get relief and from that time forward I had no more nausea.
During the rest of my pregnancy I had to almost constantly tell the baby in my womb how much I loved her and how glad I was that she was willing to trust me to prepare another body for her. I told her over and over how much I loved her and wanted her to be here with me.
What an amazing experience! After having this experience, I am so overcome with sorrow for all the little souls whose bodies are taken away from them. Those little souls are often marked with feelings of rejection, shame, lack of trust, and the terrible feeling of not being loved. May God have mercy on these little children as they come to earth to learn of love.
Compiled by Sarah Hinze